Landed.

I’m finally in Bangkok. Everything is a bit crazy.

Will update soon. Maybe?

At least I’m alive.

Stories From Away

I made four videos this past year about my year studying abroad and the transformations and challenges that I experienced. I made them for my school’s study abroad department, in hopes of connecting to other students. I made the videos in the hope that my stories might help others get the most out of their travels, but also cope better with coming back.

Feel free to check out the other videos and let me know what you think.

Right Regrets

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.
—

Arthur Miller

6 Days

I’m flying out on a one-way ticket to Bangkok in six days.

I am pretty sure I will have internet and I would like to continue keeping a blog.

Should I start a new blog that will focus on my Asian adventures, and teaching, and all that…or should I just keep writing all that in this blog?

I’m not killing this blog, it’s just, it seems the focus would be too different.

Thanks for the opinions.

199953]

No Going Back Now

I will have both visas by Monday. I bought my ticket. One way to Bangkok on November 8th. I will land in Bangkok, in the afternoon on the 10th. That flight might be the death of me. I’m going to be in Thailand for two months, and then in January I am heading to India. I don’t know what’s going to happen in February and onwards.

It’s now suddenly very real.

Serenity and Wisdom

I actually think asking god for serenity, above anything else, is really beautiful.  I have asked for wisdom and for clarity, not often, but those are the only two things I really remember asking for. Yet, serenity is a lovely word, and a wonderful sensation.

When was the last time you experienced serenity?

It’s why…

xxxx: your morality cuts me to the bone

as always

 

me: I’m sorry

I’ll tone it down

 

xxxx:no

dont ever tone down

its why I like you

 

me: thanks

It’s why my friends like me, but my lovers leave me.

Hallway

There is always that moment, when one door closes, and you are waiting for the other door to open, and lets say this time, you know it will, but there is that moment, and it can lasts for hours, days, or however long, and in my case, weeks, where I am just standing in that empty hallway.

I can’t enjoy anything. I can’t meditate. I can’t sleep. I eat 3000+ calories a day and just randomly would switch to raw food. I mean, it’s like being in the waiting room. By yourself. The magazines don’t interest you, although if you were alone at home with a cup of tea, you would enjoy them. The wall paper is boring. The doors are closed. You know the appointment must start soon. Yet, you must wait. That waiting, gosh, I can’t even begin to make it useful.

It’s waiting for my life.

I enjoy feel powerless in the bedroom, but I hate feeling impotent in life.

New Career Choice?

“My vibrator just died at the most ill timed moment imaginable. I think you are perhaps the only person in my life who a) would not be freaked out by this text and b) truly feel for how much that really sucks. Sigh.”

The above is a text message I got from a friend of mine last week. Last week I also had a bunch of other people message/call/email me on the topic of sex. While I get fielded this questions fairly regularly (I do suppose I know a fair bit), last week was just a higher frequency than normal.

The conversations ranged from practical concerns such as advice about certain performances and their safety (or their enhancements), to more cerebral questions such as ideal partners, and the link between good dance-partner to good sex-partner, or how some people get mistaken for being a top/dominant in the bedroom, just because they take on leadership roles (people make that mistake about me fairly often, without knowing about my masochism). Other topics included how to talk about sex with their partners, how to understand and accept one’s fetishes (as well as figure them out), to just say “I really love sex. I just wanted to say that. I just wanted to talk to someone about it. Thanks for listening” ..and so on.

Don’t get me wrong. I love discussing both sex-and sensuality. I’m a lover, after all. I do try to understand and research as much as I can, so that I can give people the best information possible. So it’s not that I mind people coming to me (I enjoy most conversations), I just felt bad that they always said that they have no one else to discuss this with. That no one else would actually listen, comfortably, and if not commiserate, at least not judge.

Not for the first time in my life, I’m wondering if I should pursue a career in sex therapy. I know, years of work, but that doesn’t bother me, psych fascinates me, and I was going to major in it in college, but my mother said she wouldn’t give me a penny for it. Regardless, I don’t think I’d be too shabby at it.

Well, if NGO’s don’t work out…

50 Questions

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

I think these questions rock, and they made my night. I’m re-posting them here to save everyone the extra click, but feel free to check out the blog. Later on, I will attempt to answer them. Feel free to comment with your answers. Sure, this is meme-y, but I actually enjoyed thinking about the answers. I really would like to ask some of these in conversation later on.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?